Alzheimer’s.
During the conversation he shared, and more importantly (or surprisingly) laughed about the stories regarding my grandmother Marie's decline into an uncharted world. I don’t know if it was as much for sentimentality as for fear of replication or simply his way of coping. I’m leaning toward the latter because, in my dad’s true form, he occasionally interrupted our conversation with, “Who are you again?”
Marie's transgression was, by current standards, text book. One morning when he stopped by, the dryer was running. He was told she was drying the sheets. Later on it was still running because supposedly those sheets just wouldn’t dry. From his recollection, the dryer was empty.
Soon he found the basement stairs packed with dirty laundry and upon questioning was told, “I don’t go down there anymore.”
Not long after, he found the milk in the oven. Marie said, “You think that’s bad, there’s underwear in the freezer.”
Soon, it was evident she needed more help than he could provide himself. So he hired Bob. A stroke victim, Bob had few opportunities to earn a living so he was happy to help.
He was timely, efficient, kind and a God send.
Bob made her breakfast, cleaned up the kitchen, vacuumed, shopped, and scoured the bathroom. There was little Bob wouldn’t do and each day he recorded his observations in a notebook that my dad kept. It documented Marie’s decline long before information was prevalent and they religiously made entries. Over time Bob picked up more chores and tasks that Marie was unable to address, and the effects of the stroke made each of them that more difficult to complete.
One morning as Bob busied himself with the chores of a whole household, he stopped to make her lunch and sat it down in front of her. Her response was, “Ya know, I don’t really see what you do around here.”
Bob’s entry was, What’s the penalty for beating an old woman?
Recently my dad read a post entitled, “The ten signs of Alzheimer’s.” “Ten?” he said. “It used to be three.” The majority of us now require immediate long-term care.
I can still talk to my dad. I can still talk to my mom. I’m fortunate that way and I’ll cherish every day that allows me to do that. Then when I can’t, I’ll let both of them know I’ll remember the laughter.
Maybe I already have.
~~~
For more of Cindy, stalk her at the links below or read her first novel, The Aliquot Sum, written for the new-adult genre. It's currently in pre-production to be major motion picture!
www.facebook.com/Cindy.Falteich.Writer
www.facebook.com/Cindy.Falteich.Writer
To view Cindy's website, click here.
What a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing what is really a tragic occurrence in such an enlightening and amusing way. My dad had Parkinson's and toward the end, whether it was that or dementia didn't seem to matter. My sis and I were blessed that he was more there than not all the way through. We also had a "saint" of a man who drove for our dad and made his life livable long after he was unable to do for himself. Your father sounds like an amazing man. You are so lucky! And you're right, take time to be with him, and talk to him while he's still here. I really liked this post. Thanks for sharing... Lisa, co-host A to Z 2015, @ lisabuiecollard.com
ReplyDeleteLisa, I'm grateful for your comment. I'm happy to hear your dad had the assistance he needed from a kind soul. We can't control the quality of life for them but we can control the quality of care. Loved your post on Florida. Thanks for showing me another side!
DeleteWhat a blessing that your dad was able to find someone to assist your mom. I'm sure it was a nice arrangement for Bob as well - for him to be able to help someone surely made him feel good. I am always amazed at reading about what people can accomplish in trying times. My entry is above yours in the A to Z challenge. Good luck and I'll be back!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog. I'll be back to read more of yours too!
DeleteI agree with your Dad I bet most of us do already qualify for long term care but I am not going without a fight.
ReplyDeleteMemory loss patients are definitely close to my heart, I am so glad your Dad was able to find a good caregiver for your Grandmother.
Great start to the challenge!
Doreen, with everything you've given to your patients in Hospice, you've made the world a much better place. Thanks for reading!
DeleteWhat an excellent opening post. Having accompanied my father as he journeyed through the land of Alzheimer's I'm very familiar with this. Hard and sad and heart-breakingly beautiful all rolled into one. Looking forward to following your posts.
ReplyDeleteDeborah, I hope you were able to enjoy your father's presence even till the end. I love your blogs and look forward to reading more! Thanks for reading!
DeleteWell written Cindy! I just returned from taking my 89 year old father to a doctor visit. What an ordeal. He's finally back home in his favorite easy chair - sound asleep. God love them.
ReplyDeleteYes, gd, God love them. Thanks for reading. I think of my dad and his parents. It's such a strange role reversal from when they were raising him. Good luck!
Delete