Watching television from the davenport.
Tying my tennis shoes to play outside.
Enjoying a bubbly can of pop.
Filling my gas tank at the local Kum and Go.
It’s really called that. This was way before you could cross reference your unintentional innuendo on Urban Dictionary. Oops!
However, the funniest thing I’ve ever witnessed in Iowa actually happened in Wisconsin. It all started when the state of Iowa decided to bypass every small town in the northeast corner. As a result, traffic was funneled via superhighways directly into shopping centers in Wisconsin. I think it was called the “fuck the small towns initiative.”
The influx of traffic that rushed into Wisconsin was so profound that recently they built what was called in earlier civilizations, the roundabout. They’d never seen them in Wisconsin so imagine your confusion if you were from Iowa.
Here in Pennsylvania, the first roundabout I encountered was in downtown Easton. I think it holds a Guinness record for “Freaking What?!” The first time I attempted to navigate it, I was sucked in like a tiny leaf whirlpooling into a hurricane. Over time I was numbed to the experience so that even closing my eyes seemed acceptable.
But not in Wisconsin. They’ll shut their eyes if they’re passing another car on a gravel road. So the local newspaper decided to post directions on how to navigate the elusive roundabout.
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| Slow news day. |
It’s said that the average number of attempts to exit the roundabout into the Kum and Go occurs just as you’re running out of gas.
There’s a Viagra joke in there somewhere.
I think there’s a satellite feed that was designed to mock the IQ of people who just want a quick cup of coffee on their way to work.
Lore has it, that a few travelers on a holiday weekend got caught in the current and never came out. It’s the Bermuda circle of the two-state area.
Only no one knows about it.
Because it’s not in Iowa.
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Thanks for reading!
Back to home.
For more of Cindy, stalk her at the links below or read her first novel, The Aliquot Sum, a humorous fictional account of what it's really like behind the chutes of the Professional Bull Riders. It's written for the new-adult genre and is currently in pre-production to be major motion picture!
LOL..New Jersey and Rhode Island have some really frightening round-a-bouts but I think we just call them circles here.
ReplyDeleteWhen I lived in North Chicago we used to go shop and eat in Wisconsin. who would have known Wisconsin is the shopping mecca of the Midwest.
Wisconsin is the shopping mecca of Iowa. That pretty much says it all.
Deletethanks for stopping by my blog! I live in a suburb of chicago, about an hour away from wisconson. We go there often.
ReplyDeleteYou know you're from the midwest when you go to Wisconsin often and you admit it. Thanks for reading!
DeleteYou'd never survive all the roundabouts in the UK. They work with drivers that know what they are doing.
ReplyDeleteBob, when we were in Ireland, my husband took a seat on our private tour bus right behind the driver -- like it was his designated post. Like the driver was as confused about driving on the "wrong" side of the road as my husband. At one point my spouse said, "You seemed to be handling this pretty well." The driver said, "I would hope so. I'm from around here." True story.
DeleteOn Cape Cod, we call them rotaries. If you visit, do not call them roundabouts, you will be laughed at.
ReplyDeleteBut Kum and Go stations? That's priceless. What no photo? Next time you are stuck in the rotary please take one and post. I won't believe it until I see it.
Visting from the A-Z Challenge (gvpeasachantrant.blogspot.com)
It's a deal, Joanne. Funny thing is, I remember the Kum and Go but it wasn't until I was absent from Iowa for a number of years and returned to witness the store name again that the innuendo hit me. I guess I was desensitized to it. Or far too young. Thanks for reading!
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